Adaptation of "If i were. . And if you were. ."

*This post was originally written on May 21st, 2009.

If I were a boy...
I think I could understand how it feels to love a girl.
I swear I'd be a better man.
I'd listent to her.
'Cause I know how it hurts when you lose the one you wanted, 'cause he's taking you for granted.
And everything you had got destroyed.
(Beyoncé - If I were a Boy)

Two days before our 4th monthiversary.
Also two days in failing to contact you (again).
When you're at  home, do you really want me to just "leave you alone"?
How could I know?
You didn't even tell me.

In our 1st, 2nd, and 3rd monthiversary...
We didn't even meet each other, let alone celebrated it.
In our 4th one, I want us to be together. I want to be beside you at that day.
But, I don't think it will be possible.

If only I could contact you today.
If only you could convince me not to go somewhere else in our 4th monthiversary.

But, what's done is done.
I'm sorry. I've decided to go.
And I really really have to.

If I could see you tomorrow, I wanna talk to you.
But, I don't wanna hurt you.

I don't wanna make you feel guilty. Or angry.
With me.

P.S. I love you.

-Mutia

(latest) P.S. Well... What can I say? Galau is a thing.